To Journal or Blog--That is the Question

So, my Dad sent me a quote the other day. It was a good reminder of why we're supposed to be keeping journals. And that reminds me of a question I am constantly asking myself. Which is most important: journaling in a personal journal, scrapbooking family memories, making family videos, blogging, writing family emails, etc. Is just one sufficient, or do we need to be trying to keep up with all of them? Before you think of your answer, you should read the quote:

"People who care nothing for the past usually have no thought for the future and are selfish in the way they use the present. When there is proper regard for the past and its people, we enrich the present. I have managed to fill 78 volumes which are my personal journal. There have been times when I have been so tired at the end of the day that the effort could hardly be managed, but I am so grateful that I have not let slip away from me and my posterity those things which needed to be recorded." Spencer W. Kimball--Church News August 16, 1980 p6

I don't know what the answer is, but I find myself defending each record-keeping approach. The things I write in my journal are personal, so personal that I would never write them in a blog. It's where I record some of my most tender spiritual experiences and my greatest frustrations. It would cheapen it to record all of that in a blog. My family scrapbooks are priceless--really! I wouldn't trade anything for them. If my house was burning down I would grab them first after my children. A picture is worth a thousand words, and these pictures speak volumes. My blog is how I keep in touch with extended family and friends. It's a social way of talking about my life. But it also keeps a history of events that aren't recorded anywhere else. And most importantly...it's a place to store my pictures. If my house did burn down, I would have pictures still because they're on my blog. (do you think I'm obsessed with my house burning down?) We don't take family movies and I have a constant ulcer about it. My kids are growing up! There's no other way to record the little physical idiosyncracies my children have. Still photos and journaling can't do it justice like movies can. But these things take up a lot of time! Am I wasting so much time recording history that I'm failing to actually live anything worth recording?

What do you do?

How I Regained My Faith in Humanity

I'm not gonna lie, this winter has got me down. It's been cold and snowy and gray and dreary FOREVER. I never go anywhere. My kids are driving each other, themselves (and me) crazy. So, you won't be surprised to hear that I haven't been to the gym in a few days. Look, it takes a lot of motivation to get out of bed at 5:30 and go out into the freezing temperatures to get to the gym and workout. And motivation is something I am lacking lately. I don't feel like doing anything. Showering, cleaning the house, even making dinner all seem like burdens to me. I just want to sit on the couch or take a nap. Hibernation is not just for animals, that's what I figure!

Anyway, today I spent the day like most. Actually, it was worse because I hadn't even showered when the kids got home from school. I was boycotting it altogether. Oh, I had puttered around cleaning and doing laundry, but I hadn't left the house and I hadn't taken the time to get ready. And I HADN'T exercised. Maybe I was to the breaking point, maybe I wasn't.

Then Merrody and Joel came in from school. I didn't give any speeches about how I had a headache, please just get along. I actually was doing something else for a couple of minutes. Then I heard it...nothing. No fighting. No whining for a snack. No teasing. No mess-making. Jack had settled in to sharing the Valentine's treats he had gotten at preschool with his siblings. Merrody was doing her homework! Homework! Right after school! Joel was neatly playing with his toys. I could hardly believe my eyes (and ears!). After everyone did their homework, they did their chores. Then everyone actually ate their dinner, no complaints!

I have to admit, while I was making dinner, I was actually choking back tears. It was a miracle! One day with no fighting. Peace in our home. No rushing and nagging. These were things I'd longed for, but never experienced...and on a day like this! Oh, sweet friends. These little children of mine are such sweet friends. I found myself happier, spunkier even. They pulled me out of my doldrums and back to the place I needed to be. The place where their mother should always be. Happy to be at home.

Nine Years and...

... I still get butterflies in my stomach when I hear the garage door open! Now that's true love. I've loved Matt since I was about 10 and a half. It's not likely to change anytime soon. Happy Anniversary, Matt Malone!

My Sweethearts: Matt

The other morning I got up at 5:30am to go to the gym. It's unnatural for a person to get up that early. It was snowing and school was cancelled. But I have a gym partner who doesn't miss, so I put on my workout clothes and headed out in the storm. Two minutes later, I came back inside to wake Matt up and ask him to help me get my van unstuck. Yep, I got stuck in the DRIVEWAY. It was 5:30. No complaints, he just got out of bed and put on his boots. It took us 40 minutes to get the car back into the garage. I was amazed that he knew just how to turn the wheels, just when to push, just when to gun it. MY HERO!!! This and so many other experiences make me so glad to be married to a MAN. So glad to be married to THIS man. I love you, Matt.


P.S. I know you were dying for one of these cute heart pictures of Matt. Sorry to disappoint. I like him too much to suggest it to him. Plus, anyone with that much hair ALL OVER HIS BODY is way too masculine for such a thing.

My Sweethearts: Merrody

I'm finally starting to understand what people mean when they say "you'll always be my baby" to their adult children. Merrody is just not a baby anymore. Sometimes it seems like she's not even a kid anymore! I can't believe she's already 7, and I can't believe she's only 7. It seems like she's been a part of my life forever. She used to be a sweet little baby, a toddler even a girl--all who just needed me to take care of her. Now she is a friend, a helper. Sure, she still needs me. Hopefully she always will. But our relationship is evolving visibly. I can count on her to give Norah her bath and to do her chores. I talk to her about her day and she tells me things. We talk like friends. She's old enough to be reasoned with and explained to. She's old enough to express her needs and wants to have her parents' approval and love. Well, she's got it. We love our Merrody. What a precious, sweet friend she is. But she will always be my baby.

My Sweethearts: Joel

Let's face it. Joel is a challenging child. I am learning, though, that it's true what they say--the more you sacrifice for a person, the more you love them. The more trial and trauma I go through trying to raise this guy, the more I just adore him! Joel is crazy and stubborn and difficult. But he's also the only child I have who unfailingly thanks me for dinner every night! He makes his siblings cry daily, but he also will walk past me giving Matt a haircut and say, "Nice hair, Daddy." He is the hardest to talk into doing anything, but when he decides to be good, he is capable of cleaning the whole house just to be nice to me. I pull my hair out trying to figure out how to parent him, but I know I've got one thing he needs--a mother who absolutely and unconditionally loves him.

My Sweethearts: Jackson

This little guy is my buddy. He keeps me company most days when Merrody and Joel are at school. And let me tell you, he keeps me company! He talks my ear off! I always start off in the car with the radio on, but give up shortly thereafter because I can't listen to the radio and Jack at the same time. He is sweet and funny. He has this lisp, he spits when he says his s's. It totally cracks me up! I love listening to him tell me the long version of the recap of some cartoon. He gets so excited about the plot! I am always having to remind myself that he's still just 3! He acts like a 5-year-old. I love when he wants me to hold him (something that happens less and less nowadays). I love when he gets excited to tell me what happened at preschool and stutters so much he can barely get it out. I love watching him play with Norah when the older two aren't around. Jack is a great big brother, though he doesn't get much opportunity to practice. I love how obsessed he is with getting Joel's approval. And how he'll do almost anything Merrody asks him to do. What a sweet little guy!

My Sweethearts: Norah

I feel like the richest and the luckiest woman in the world when I think about my husband and my four sweet, beautiful children. It's like I hit the lottery, really! So I've decided to count down to Valentine's Day with a little tribute to each of my dear sweethearts. Starting with Norah...

I wish I could just upload the smell of Norah's hair after her bath. Or scrapbook the soft, soft skin on her cheeks and chubby thighs. If I could just find a way to record it all, I would. Atleast we have pictures and here, memories. Can I tell you how much I melt when that little girl proudly claps her hands together in response to my "Patty Cake" requests? Or how Matt and I say she is always wearing a "break-the-face smile" (a smile so big she could break her face). Or how she grabs tight onto Merrody when Merrody takes her from me and then cuddles her like she's her second mother? My favorite is when I go to take her out in the cold. She digs her head into my chest and wraps one arm tight around the back of my neck. Then she starts twisting the hand behind my head around and around. I don't know why she does this, but I love it!

I am constantly amazed at how I never get tired of her. I know it was true for all of my children, but I can't understand how a mother can be woken up a million times in the night and then be totally delighted to see that same baby bright and early the next morning. Norah is sweet and cute and a total joy to live with. She LOVES each of her siblings and adores her father.

I love that baby. Her laugh. Her smile. She is a total sweetheart.