Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Last But Not Least...
I was born in October of 1977. My Mom, already the mother of an 18-month-old son, was just about to turn 25. Isn't she beautiful?! I bet she never could've guessed what she had ahead of her! Over the next 17 years, she would give birth 9 more times! During my Mom's childbearing years, my Dad served as branch president, bishop and stake president, almost back-to-back. When the youngest of her 11 children was only 2, the family would move to Kentucky where my Dad would serve as a mission president. Why do I share this list of my father's church callings, you ask? Because I want you to understand how much of the family work was done while my Dad wasn't around.Over the years, I've had many people ask me how she does it. I know I lived there, but I honestly don't know! Each time I have another baby, I feel maxed out on my mothering abilities. Unfailingly, I call my Mom. "how did you do this with 11? I can't do it with 4!" She just reassures me that it can, in fact, be done with 4.
The amazing thing about all that she did is that she did it without complaining. She may have been sick and/or exhausted the whole time (and I can verify that she pretty much was), but she never complained. Nauseated during pregnancy, up all night with a baby, or lonely for her far-away family, Mom's responsibilities never rested. She just kept at it, day in and day out without a word of complaint. The amazing thing to think is that she became a mother 33 years ago when my brother was born and still has three kids at home! She still hasn't taken a break.
My Mom was a genius in finance. I don't say that because she's sitting on a pile of money in some fancy house on a hill. Actually, she and my Dad have always been poor. That's what's so amazing about her! Somehow she managed to make the money stretch far enough to support 13 people! We always had clothes and food and new shoes when we needed them. She managed to pay for piano lessons and extracirricular sports and one trip a year to Boise. When it came time to send her kids to college, my Mom did better than pay our way. She taught us to work and depend on ourselves. Mom and Dad paid for no one's college, and yet, each of their college-age children have attended BYU and five of those have graduated. Her two older sons also have gone on to professional school and graduated.
My Mom was a great example of spiritual strength. Besides supporting my father in his many church callings at great personal sacrifice, she had her own share of callings. My Mom has held about every calling the church has to offer. I especially remember what an amazing Primary Music Leader she was. Recently, she was the seminary teacher. She does an excellent job wherever she is asked to serve. She reads her scriptures, says her prayers and attends all of her meetings. She goes to the temple, fasts on fast sunday and watches all of the sessions of conference. Maybe these things sound like simple, everyday tasks. They're the building blocks of my Mom's character and they have each been very important. As a result of my Mom's strength and example, both of her older sons have served missions and four of her older daughters! All of her married children have married in the temple. Each of her children are active in the church. I recognize that many good and even excellent parents do not have such statistics, but still I believe we owe it all to our mother.
The final tribute to my Mother can be seen by any who know us. We are all independent people, requiring little in the way of financial support from our parents. However, each of my Mom's children calls her regularly. We are the best of friends! I don't go one day without calling my Mom (often it's more like 3 or 4 times in a day). Even the older boys call Mom regularly. She's not just a hard worker, a spiritual giant or a financial genius. She's also an incredibly loving and cool person. She's one of my best friends in the world. I love you, Mom! Someday I hope I'm exactly like you!
Friday, May 8, 2009
What Kind of Mother...
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
When I was a teenager, I could often be heard saying (and I meant it), "Matt and Carey, I think I like your Mom more than I like you."
P.S. Yes, that is a me there in the middle, after my mission. How ya like me NOW???
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
My parents let me go NOWHERE in highschool. It was a constant battle to be allowed out of the house on the weekends. There was one place I was almost unquestionably allowed to go: Jane Malone's house. My parents trusted her THAT much.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
She mothered all of the kids who entered her home. She loved us and took a personal interest in our lives. She drove to Kentucky for my mission farewell and even visited me in Utah long before I was dating or married to her son!
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
She values education. She insisted on paying for me to take classes at BYU even before I married Matt!
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who loves her daughter-in-law like a daughter, not an in-law.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who watches her grandkids every Tuesday for 5 years without fail.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who lovingly, (not pushing) encourages her kids to go to the temple, do family history, be kind to one another and make scripture study more meaningful.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who gets down on the floor with her kids (and then her grandkids) to play with them and read stories.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother I want to be. I love you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
When I was a teenager, I could often be heard saying (and I meant it), "Matt and Carey, I think I like your Mom more than I like you."
P.S. Yes, that is a me there in the middle, after my mission. How ya like me NOW???
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
My parents let me go NOWHERE in highschool. It was a constant battle to be allowed out of the house on the weekends. There was one place I was almost unquestionably allowed to go: Jane Malone's house. My parents trusted her THAT much.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
She mothered all of the kids who entered her home. She loved us and took a personal interest in our lives. She drove to Kentucky for my mission farewell and even visited me in Utah long before I was dating or married to her son!
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
She values education. She insisted on paying for me to take classes at BYU even before I married Matt!
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who loves her daughter-in-law like a daughter, not an in-law.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who watches her grandkids every Tuesday for 5 years without fail.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who lovingly, (not pushing) encourages her kids to go to the temple, do family history, be kind to one another and make scripture study more meaningful.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother who gets down on the floor with her kids (and then her grandkids) to play with them and read stories.
What kind of mother is Jane Malone?
The kind of mother I want to be. I love you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Heroes in Motherhood
Today for your reading enjoyment, I will be paying tribute to some of my heroes in motherhood. Usually, I would choose women way older than myself. I am choosing heroes from my age group today. These women are amazing now, just imagine what they'll be like in 20 years!
My brother, Joel, has many flaws. He has not always done everything right. One thing he did perfectly was choose the mother for his children. I spend a lot of my time wishing I was more like Melanie (Matt probably does too!). Melanie has 6 kids ranging in age from 10 years to 6 months. Her home is clean, organized and well-maintained. Her children eat healthy food, including homemade wheat bread! Melanie works about as hard as anyone I have ever known. She is up bright and early and making a hot breakfast. After the kids are off to school, Melanie gets the younger three situated and heads out for her morning run. Next week, Melanie will run her 7th marathon! After her run and shower, Melanie spends her days getting lots of work done. Each day she has a list of tasks to be accomplished and they always are. Each of her children is given chores to do and they are always done! Her children work because that's what they were taught to do. Because of Melanie, her children thrive at school, church, home and in their extracirricular activities. Melanie's kids are taught well the things of the gospel. They have family home evening, family prayer and family scripture study regularly. In the summer, Melanie plants a large vegetable garden. You guessed it! She harvests and freezes/cans her own vegetables. She buys fruit in bulk for canning, juicing and jamming. Her kids' bed quilts are homemade by Melanie. Melanie's kids are clean and tidy in appearance and behavior. Don't get me wrong, they are encouraged to play and even get dirty, but they are never left that way. In short, Melanie does it all. She actually does. When other Moms would be flustered or bored, Melanie is still at it, doing everything. From the beginning of their marriage, Joel and Melanie have planned for the future. All I can say is, if Joel could dream it, Melanie has done it. She is a true inspiration in motherhood!
Hero #2: Single Mom
Five years ago, at age 29, Megan was widowed suddenly and unexpectedly. Her children were 17 months old and 2 weeks old. Without warning, Megan found herself a single mother. I don't pretend to understand what Megan went through. So many times, I've tried to put myself in her place. What would I have done? How would I have handled the many decisions to be made? I know this, I couldn't have handled it with half as much class as Megan did. It must've been difficult to pack up her two (darling but difficult) sweeties and travel to visit the parents and family of her late husband. But she did. It must've been painful to revisit her feelings by staying in constant contact with reminders of what she had lost. But she did. I'm not sure I could've or would've been willing to continue sacrificing time and energy to help my children know more about their father and his family. In such a graceful way, Megan picked herself up and continued on when life was difficult and lonely. She was the mother her children needed, and the father too. She endured without complaint the challenging years of parenting young children all alone. I am happy to report that as of April 25th, Megan is no longer a single Mom. She has done it all alone for long enough. We are all so happy for you, Megan! You are a wonderful mother and a fantastic person!
Hero #3: Devoted Mother
I guess I knew Amy a little in highschool. She and her sisters would come visit Matt and Carey (cousins) sometimes in the summers. When Matt and I got married, we became better acquainted still. But I actually came to know and respect Amy as a mother through reading her blog. Not a day goes by that I don't check Amy's blog for some upbeat posting on her life with her sweet kids. Amy has the perfect family, by the way. She has a darling son first, with light brown hair. Blonde twin girls come next and they're rounded off by a beautiful red headed daughter at the end. I can't WAIT to see the bundle of joy headed for their home in the next month or so! Good genes is all I can say. But that's not what I admire about Amy. Amy exudes love. Sure, all mothers love their children, but not like Amy. Amy has a gift for loving. Amy's tender feelings for each child enable her to have a special relationship with each one individually. She looks for innate and individual gifts in her children and encourages them to develop those talents. She sees the best in her children (and everyone else, honestly). I think that is one of her most endearing traits. She also loves being a mother! I mean she LOVES it. She is one of the biggest examples of Christlike love I have ever seen in real life. If every woman, every person for that matter, had a little more of Amy's love, this world would be an amazing place. Amy, you are truly inspiring!
If I had Melanie's work ethic, Megan's class and Amy's love I think I would be the perfect mother. You girls are amazing!
My brother, Joel, has many flaws. He has not always done everything right. One thing he did perfectly was choose the mother for his children. I spend a lot of my time wishing I was more like Melanie (Matt probably does too!). Melanie has 6 kids ranging in age from 10 years to 6 months. Her home is clean, organized and well-maintained. Her children eat healthy food, including homemade wheat bread! Melanie works about as hard as anyone I have ever known. She is up bright and early and making a hot breakfast. After the kids are off to school, Melanie gets the younger three situated and heads out for her morning run. Next week, Melanie will run her 7th marathon! After her run and shower, Melanie spends her days getting lots of work done. Each day she has a list of tasks to be accomplished and they always are. Each of her children is given chores to do and they are always done! Her children work because that's what they were taught to do. Because of Melanie, her children thrive at school, church, home and in their extracirricular activities. Melanie's kids are taught well the things of the gospel. They have family home evening, family prayer and family scripture study regularly. In the summer, Melanie plants a large vegetable garden. You guessed it! She harvests and freezes/cans her own vegetables. She buys fruit in bulk for canning, juicing and jamming. Her kids' bed quilts are homemade by Melanie. Melanie's kids are clean and tidy in appearance and behavior. Don't get me wrong, they are encouraged to play and even get dirty, but they are never left that way. In short, Melanie does it all. She actually does. When other Moms would be flustered or bored, Melanie is still at it, doing everything. From the beginning of their marriage, Joel and Melanie have planned for the future. All I can say is, if Joel could dream it, Melanie has done it. She is a true inspiration in motherhood!
Hero #2: Single Mom
Five years ago, at age 29, Megan was widowed suddenly and unexpectedly. Her children were 17 months old and 2 weeks old. Without warning, Megan found herself a single mother. I don't pretend to understand what Megan went through. So many times, I've tried to put myself in her place. What would I have done? How would I have handled the many decisions to be made? I know this, I couldn't have handled it with half as much class as Megan did. It must've been difficult to pack up her two (darling but difficult) sweeties and travel to visit the parents and family of her late husband. But she did. It must've been painful to revisit her feelings by staying in constant contact with reminders of what she had lost. But she did. I'm not sure I could've or would've been willing to continue sacrificing time and energy to help my children know more about their father and his family. In such a graceful way, Megan picked herself up and continued on when life was difficult and lonely. She was the mother her children needed, and the father too. She endured without complaint the challenging years of parenting young children all alone. I am happy to report that as of April 25th, Megan is no longer a single Mom. She has done it all alone for long enough. We are all so happy for you, Megan! You are a wonderful mother and a fantastic person!
Hero #3: Devoted Mother
I guess I knew Amy a little in highschool. She and her sisters would come visit Matt and Carey (cousins) sometimes in the summers. When Matt and I got married, we became better acquainted still. But I actually came to know and respect Amy as a mother through reading her blog. Not a day goes by that I don't check Amy's blog for some upbeat posting on her life with her sweet kids. Amy has the perfect family, by the way. She has a darling son first, with light brown hair. Blonde twin girls come next and they're rounded off by a beautiful red headed daughter at the end. I can't WAIT to see the bundle of joy headed for their home in the next month or so! Good genes is all I can say. But that's not what I admire about Amy. Amy exudes love. Sure, all mothers love their children, but not like Amy. Amy has a gift for loving. Amy's tender feelings for each child enable her to have a special relationship with each one individually. She looks for innate and individual gifts in her children and encourages them to develop those talents. She sees the best in her children (and everyone else, honestly). I think that is one of her most endearing traits. She also loves being a mother! I mean she LOVES it. She is one of the biggest examples of Christlike love I have ever seen in real life. If every woman, every person for that matter, had a little more of Amy's love, this world would be an amazing place. Amy, you are truly inspiring!
If I had Melanie's work ethic, Megan's class and Amy's love I think I would be the perfect mother. You girls are amazing!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Mother's Day Blogs
To Celebrate Mother's Day, I've decided to post about the Mother's in my life each day from now until Sunday. I think it will be fun, feel free to join me if you like! And now you're wondering why there's a picture of Matt at the beginning of this post...
Well, the first Mother's Day post will be about Matt, or me. I'm not exactly sure. You see, there are no mothers without fathers. Matt gave me the gift of motherhood. He loved me, married me, and gave me four beautiful children. Some men might think that was where their responsibility ended, but not Matt. He worked his head off in dental school so he could be a good provider for our family. We kind of thought the stress and sacrifice would end at graduation, but it hasn't. He is up early each day to get to work in a neighboring town. He works hard, always trying to please his patients, boss, and assistants. He works hard so that I don't have to work. So that I can be the Mom we want our children to have. After work, he drives the commute home only to find a house full of noise and chaos. I'm sure he would rather be playing golf or at the gym or just checking his email, but that's not what he does. It's dinnertime and there are kids to be fed and dishes to be done and baths to be given and stories to be told. He leads us in family prayer and tucks the kids in (atleast 10 times before they are actually in bed). Then he comes downstairs to find me feeding the baby and straightening up for the night. On a good day, he does get a minute to check his email and read over some nerdy dental stuff before heading off to bed. On a bad day, he gets to spend the next hour or so entertaining his needy wife, holding the baby or trying to convince me that I will survive the fatigue and frustration that accompanies early motherhood. He is a rock.
When I can't do it anymore, he is there to pick up the slack. The other night, after venting about how exhausted and overwhelmed I felt, Matt offered to get up with the baby in the night so I could sleep. "No! You have to be a dentist in the morning! The least I can do is wake up with the baby in the night!" I changed my mind around 6am the next morning. "Remember when you said you'd get up with the baby?" He didn't complain or groan, he just grabbed the baby and cuddled her to him. When that failed to appease her, Matt was up. He fed her, changed her and took her quietly into the bathroom with him while he showered and got ready for the day. I tried to sleep, but I was too busy enjoying what a sweet husband I have!
And so, at this Mother's Day season, I am not grateful only for my mothers and the mothers in my life. I am also grateful for the man who made me a mother. He gave me my children, my lifestyle and the sanity to do what I do. He helps, supports and protects. He provides and leads. What kind of Mother could I be without him?
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