Ten Years

Today Matt and I celebrate our ten year anniversary! Here's the story...

I like to tell people that Matt and I met in the nursery. I guess that’s where we met, although I can’t remember. I was almost two when my parents moved to Morgantown and we began attending the Morgantown Ward with the relatively new convert, Jane Malone and her then four kids. Our parents weren’t best friends or anything, but had a mutual respect and admiration for each other. Matt’s Dad was my family’s allergist from really early on in our Morgantown years and even did a few minor surgeries for my Grandpa Flake as well as my sister, Bethany. I can remember times when I was a teenager that my allergies would be so bad. One night, my parents called Matt’s Dad really worried about me. He actually gave me an exam over the phone! He had me breathe through the phone and explain my symptoms, etc and then got my Dad on the phone. “Joel, I want you to go down to the pharmacy. I’m gonna call you in a prescription…” They also invited my family over at least once a summer to swim in their pool. My Dad LOVED that so much. There are too many stories to tell between our families, but suffice it to say that we were in contact throughout all of the years of our lives from the time we moved there and even after my parents moved away. My Dad and Matt’s Mom served together as Stake President and Stake YW President, respectively, as well in many other church responsibilities, etc.

When I was still very young, my family was called to serve as a strength to a struggling branch in our stake. At that point I didn’t see Matt much anymore. We were released from that calling when I was about ten years old, returning then to the Morgantown Ward. It was the age of crushes for me, and the first crushes I can recollect were all on Matt Malone. Matt was a chubby kid. His teeth were a little too big for his head and he was a know-it-all. But I thought he was the COOLEST kid in our primary class.

By the time I got into Young Women, I would see Matt more than once a week and we would sometimes find ourselves talking for a long time before or after mutual activities. I would go over to their house to see Carey, but end up in Matt’s room talking for hours. I’m sure it wasn’t anything to him. By this time, Matt was really something. He was tall and thin and very handsome. All of the girls in the Young Women (and at his school) had crushes on him. But I always felt like I had a connection with him. We were good friends.

When high school started, we were finally in the same school. We had a few classes together our sophomore year, but we had almost all of our classes together junior year. In fact, in most of our classes we were partnered up for something. One class, in particular, was called mentorship. It was a class designed for personal year-long projects. A kid in mentorship had permission to leave campus during class to do research at the University Library or visit a lab, etc. Matt and I were the only two kids in class who had chosen to use mentorship to be part of the Future Problem Solvers of America (nerdy, I know). Many afternoons, Matt and I would leave school together to head to the library and “research”.

Matt was best friends with my brother, Joel. I was best friends with his sister, Carey. Joel and Carey were dating for some of that time. My brother, Justin, was also close with Carey and Matt’s little brother, Ben. Our families spent a lot of time together…and it is true, we actually had one brother-sister sleepover. I’m pretty sure that was in Jr. High, though.

Through all of this time, Matt was the hottest guy in the school. I was not exactly the female equivalent. I had plenty of crushes on Matt, although I think they were always one-sided. As our senior year came to a close, Matt did take me on one date. I think that’s the only date we ever went on in high school.

Matt, Carey, Justin and I had taken Joel to the train station when he left for college, so tradition demanded a similar trip when I left the next year. Matt, Carey and Justin took me to the airport. This was in the days of relaxed rules in the airport. We were late for my flight and had to run to the gate, my heavy suitcases in hand. When we reached the gate, the flight attendant suggested that I choose someone to help me carry my luggage on to the actual plane (wow! Relaxed rules!). My brother was there, my best friend Carey was there, I chose Matt to help me.

That fall I was at Ricks, Matt at BYU. Although we were four hours apart and Matt was only at school for one semester before his mission, we managed to see each other twice that fall. Once I traveled down to Provo and went camping with him and his friends. The other time was when I flew through SLC home for Thanksgiving. I caught a ride with a guy I was kind of dating at the time. The plan was that he would drive me to Layton where we would stay the night at my aunt’s house. Early the next morning he would drop me off at the airport. Matt knew I would be in Layton, so he decided to come up and stay the night with my aunt, too. (How rude was I? I can’t believe I did that to my aunt! Sorry, Aunt Claudia!) Matt and I stayed up talking all night. The next morning, my friend who was taking me to the airport said, “I was kind of jealous last night.” “Why?” “Because it seems like you belong to Matt Malone.”

Matt and I talked on the phone often. He called me when he got his mission call to the Nebraska Omaha Mission. We talked for a long time about it. Actually, my Dad set him apart on his mission. I was home for Christmas break when I found out that my Dad had been called to serve as a mission president. It was TOP SECRET information. On the last evening before I headed back to college, a few of our friends were over including Matt. Carey wanted to go home real bad, but Matt wanted to stay. Matt said he would take her home and come back. Justin and I waited up for hours, but Matt never came. We were asleep on the couches in the basement when Matt snuck into the basement at 2am! He had come back! Justin and I shared our secret exciting news about my Dad’s mission with Matt. To my knowledge, he is the only person who knew about it outside of the family. That was the last night I saw Matt before his mission.

I was a sporadic writer for the first half of Matt’s mission.We wrote a little back and forth, but I was way better when I moved into the mission home with my parents and caught the spirit of it all. At that point, I was sending packages and letters regularly. I had decided to serve a mission myself. Carey came to visit in the mission home at one point, and then later, Matt’s Mom came for my farewell. It was a ten hour drive, so no small sacrifice. How did she know to come to her future daughter-in-law’s farewell? She was always a loving and supportive friend independent of her kids.

I headed on my mission to Chile Santiago South just six months before Matt came home from his mission. Carey was there to say goodbye to me at the MTC. When Matt was ready to head back west after his mission, he took a detour through Kentucky to stay with my family in the mission home.

When I got home from my mission, Matt was just heading to the Jerusalem Center for a semester abroad. I got to Provo the night before his departure. I went over to his apartment to see him and Carey. I was awkward and still in culture shock from my mission. Matt had a girlfriend hanging around. Finally, it got to be too much for me. I was ready to go home. One of Matt’s friends offered to give me a ride home. Matt walked me out to the car and said, “I’m gonna marry you.” Just like that.

I’m not gonna say I didn’t think about that for a long time. First of all, I thought it was SO weird. Random. Not to mention, I was pretty sure I would be married by the time he got home (typical returned missionary). I might have forgotten it altogether if it hadn’t been for the fact that my Uncle Lawrence was also in Jerusalem as a professor at the Jerusalem Center. Joel and his new wife were living at Uncle Lawrence’s house, so I did have some contact with him and heard the odd, “I’ve been telling Matt he needs to marry you” comments. Joel, for his part, had his own idea. “Just lock yourselves in a room and make out. See if there’s anything there.” Typical guy response, I guess, but by this time I valued our friendship enough that I didn’t want to turn it into something awkward and lame. Matt was one of my closest friends. I really didn’t want to wreck that.

By some odd coincidence, I ended up keeping Matt’s Jeep for the summer that year. Matt, Carey and Ben had all decided to spend the summer at home. Carey and Ben were getting ready to go on their missions. Someone needed to keep the car. The job fell to me. Matt and Ben came with their mother to Salt Lake in July or August of that year (1999). I was supposed to meet them at their hotel and then we would all go to the temple together and they would take me home to Provo and be there to take Ben to the MTC. When I got to their room, Matt was in the shower. Matt and I both agree that the first real spark between us was felt when he walked out of the bathroom and we saw each other for the first time since Jerusalem (essentially the first time since before his mission, since we only saw each other for a couple of hours in the interim).

I still get a smile on my face when I think about the apartment I had arranged for Matt to live in that summer. I had a friend who I worked with at the MTC. A poor friend. Matt was used to living in more expensive apartment complexes and hanging out with richer friends. He asked me to get him a summer contract and I did not disappoint. I got him a contract in the cheapest apt complex I could find, with my friend from the MTC. I thought it would be good for Matt (I also thought it was a funny joke).

When Carey got back to Provo, Matt, Carey and I decided to go camping in Zion National Park with a couple of other friends. One night, Carey went for a walk with her “boyfriend” and Matt and I found ourselves alone. That’s when he decided to try and put on the moves. “How come we’ve never kissed?” he asked. “Because we’re really good friends and we don’t want to ruin that.” “C’mon, don’t you think we should try and see if there’s anything there?” After extensive discussion, I conceded. And, as it turns out, I was right. A lifetime of close association, made Matt feel like a brother to me. Kissing my brother. That’s what it was like. And then, our relationship was very awkward for a long time. I was heart broken.

Matt did make an attempt at taking me on another date shortly after that camping trip, but things were very awkward. Gradually, though, things went back to normal. We saw each other a lot over the next few months. Once,I took Matt as my date when my whole office went to Les Miserables. I had bought tickets months before expecting to have a boyfriend. Since I didn’t, I took Matt. My bosses loved Matt and thought I should marry him. Matt and I often set each other up on dates. One time, in particular, Matt and I were not each other’s dates, but went on a double date where we spent the majority of the evening in the home we would later live in as newlyweds.

And so it went. A few times over the next few months, Matt tried to kiss me again. I was usually dating someone else. Timing was not in our favor. We still hung out quite a bit, but just as good friends.

Finally, Matt and I were both single at the same time. I had been home in Boise for a short while and Matt had called. “Come home. I miss you.” He often talked like that, saying “I love you”, etc, not really meaning too much by it. But it was just enough to get me to want to come back right away. The day I got back to Provo all of my cousins were getting together for a “cousin’s date”. I called Matt and left a message asking him to come with me. I waited, but he never called. Later, that evening, I was at home when he showed up. Through the course of the conversation, Matt said, “Remember that really awkward kiss we had last summer? Don’t ya think we should try again?” (Why did we always talk about it before we kissed?)

I’m not gonna lie, it was still a little like kissing my brother. Not as much, though. The next day, I was sitting on my couch talking to my roommates. “What happened with Matt Malone last night?” “We kissed and now he’s gonna think he’s my boyfriend” I said. That’s when Matt walked in. He had dinner (for himself) and wanted a haircut. I had given him haircuts off and on for a long time.

And that’s pretty much it. We had been dating for about two weeks when he started telling people we were getting married. I think we both kind of knew that if we ever started dating we would get married. We broke up a million times during our courtship (never stayed broken up 24 hours, though).

I remember one night at the end of October 2000, Matt and I were babysitting at Uncle Lawrence’s house. Matt said, “I called your Dad today. I asked him for your hand in marriage.” We both cried.

A couple of days later, Matt took me to the Roof Restaurant in SLC. We sat in a table overlooking the temple where my parents were sealed. Where my grandparents on both sides were sealed. Where all of my direct ancestors who had been sealed were sealed. A waitress brought out a tray with flowers and a box. I think you know the rest.

Matt and I were married on February 15, 2001. Best Day Ever. Best Ten Years Ever.

I love you, Matt! Happy Anniversary!